


Fate is Fickle

by ofbooks



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Military, No Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-26 06:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30102024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofbooks/pseuds/ofbooks
Summary: Meeting Erwin Smith sealed Y/N's fate. Although she wouldn't realise it until many years later.Choosing to follow her best friend, Y/N finds herself in the beast of the belly, fighting for her childhood dream and the freedom of humanity. But meeting Humanity's strongest and the 104th complicates it all.*Levi/F!Reader*
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Reader, Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader, Mike Zacharias & Reader, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	1. Prologue

For the hundredth time, you sighed. 

Your legs swung intermittently as you sat on the tall wooden stool. You watched your mother counting out buns, passing them to the customers and then depositing the gleaming coins in the old cash register. Looking around the small bakery, you yearned for something to do seeing nothing interesting. 

"Why can't Klaus do this?" you whined, your mother giving you a side-eyed glare, making the customer in front of her chuckle before passing pleasantries. 

"He's at school, Y/N." your mother replied, finally turning to you now that the shop was empty. 

Although you understood the fact that your older brother was at school, it didn't make sense to your four-year-old mind why that meant you had to sit there. He had been gone for hours and surely he'd be bored of school by now. Your mother, sensing where your thoughts were, sighed. Tapping her foot, she turned to the clock and back to the wall. 

"If you leave now, you should be able to meet him while he walks home." 

And with that you were gone, sprinting out into the warm afternoon sun. Every day you accompanied your mother and brother on the trip to the school, so the journey was second nature. But you were caught off guard by a wail from the alleyway to your left. You placed one foot forward but hesitated as you remembered your mother's warning of straying off into places you didn't know. You turned to carry on your way, but a shout followed by laughing pulled you back. 

Your small feet carried you down into the alleyway, and you were met with three boys who were all older than you. Though the one who stood with his fists clenched seem to be slightly younger than the others, roughly Klaus' age, 8. You watched quietly as the larger boy talked down to the other, referring to him as "eyebrows" whilst his friend stood silently. The younger boy only glared back in defiance which only seemed to anger the bully. Swiftly he moved forward, his fist raised, but his attack was deterred by a small thud on his head. He whirled around furious, looking for his assailant but his gaze found you. You. With your arms full of rocks and an armed pulled back with another rock ready to fly. The boy launched at you but you continued to throw the small projectiles at him. But your assault was futile and you found yourself flat on the ground, your clean clothes now covered in dirt and dust. Now you'd caught the attention of the other and they looked at each other with quirked eyebrows. 

"What's a little girl like you going to do?" The first boy scoffed. He kicked one of the rocks around on the floor, smirking at the idea that a 'kid' had tried to hurt him. "Does the wittle baby think she's brave?" He teased getting closer. You scrawled back but the boys advance was stopped by the complaint of his companion. He was bored, but in reality, he was too scared to stop his friend from threatening an even younger child. 

"Jeez, you're such a killjoy Chris. But your right. Hey, Eyebrows! See you on Monday" He snickered. 

You made a move to stand up but found yourself back in the dirt, as the rude boy roughly barged your shoulder. 

Tears started to flow, like a small stream but then like a gushing waterfall. Mother had told you to be careful and instead, you were hurt and dirty. Your whimpers echoed in the quiet alley until the silence was burst. 

"I think you were very brave". 

You turned and finally looked at the boy. Looking him up and down, you noticed his blonde hair and smart outfit, which contrasted greatly with what the other boys had worn. He bent down and offered a hand, politely waiting when you stopped to wipe your tears and hoisted you to your feet. 

The two of you stood in the alley, adults walking by too busy to notice the figures in the shadows. The boy stared at you intently, his eyes unwavering from your own, a firm look upon his face. If anyone else had looked at with his intensity, you would have fled.

"You do?" You asked, your self-pity faltering. 

"Yes! My father gave me a book to read. It was about a girl who was brave and fought to save her village. You remind me of her!" And with those words, you were hooked. 

The boy narrated the story from memory, only stopping to answer your questions. The two of you took to walking, neither focusing on the direction, letting your feet carry you to an unknown direction. By the time you stopped, you found yourselves in front of a tree outside the city and the boy had finished his story. The boy lost in thought stared at the nature around him but was awoken from his thoughts by a prod in his back. 

"One day I'm going to be big and strong and save everyone too!" You exclaimed and a stick (one you deemed perfect for sword fighting) was thrust into the boy's hand. He looked down at the stick confused and back up to you, his bushy eyebrows scrunching up in confusion. But before he could comprehend it, your 'weapon' was swinging towards him. The boy dodged the sudden attack, and after a few more blows, couldn't hold in his grin. 

The afternoon quickly turned into early evening but the duo continued to parry back and forth. A long grumble eventually pulled you from your game, and you both looked at each other realising how exhausted and hungry you now were. After discarding your weapons, the two of you began to walking side by side back into the city. Your conversation was full of mindless youthful chatter, only stopping when you returned to the entrance of the alley. The two of you smiled at each other and wordlessly turned away from each other, returning to your corresponding homes. But with a sudden realisation, you swung back around. 

"HEY! What's your name?" you hollered. The boy stopped and for a second you thought he wouldn't reply. But a smile appeared on your face, as he looked over his shoulder, then turned to greet you with a grin. 

"Erwin! And, you?" 

"Y/N!" But it had not come out of your mouth. You looked around in surprise, and your eyes widened at the sight of your brother. Your smile somehow grew more and you ran to the older boy. You completely forgot about him. He hugged you briefly, voicing his worry of your absence, before cocking his head at the boy behind you. 

"Oh hi, Erwin. What are you doing here?" Klaus inquired, confused at his little sister talking to his classmate. But before Erwin could respond, both your's and your brother's names were called with a less than happy voice. Looking at each other with fear in your eyes, you both ran towards the voice, bidding the blonde farewell. 

Neither of you that too much about that farewell but neither of you had expected that day to define the rest of your lives.

* * *

  
The two of you quickly became friends, with Erwin sometimes joining your brother on his walk home, if only to see you. You would accompany Erwin on his errands, and in return, he would tell you more stories, either from his day at school or those that his father had read to him.

Mr Smith was delighted to meet another bright child and welcomed you into both his classroom and home. Although you were four years his son's junior, Mr Smith set to educate you in the basics, in the hopes that you'd flourish in academics. Your mother and father had also taken to the young Smith boy, often inviting him in for dinner when you had lost track of time. By the age of 8 and 12, you were inseparable, spending as much free time as possible in each others company. 

One day, your after school conversation came to history and the walls that lay strong and sturdy around you. Erwin had told you about an idea his father told him about the walls and how the king, but being too young the ideas mesmerised you but quickly blew over your head. 

The day the MPs came you were in the bakery. Your mother had required assistance in the bakery and so you helped as much as an eight-year-old could, practising your maths on the buns to be sold to customers. The day was busy but it soon came to an end, you both looking forward to supper. You stood in the cool of the night's air, as your mother locked the door of the store, but we're both shocked to hear hurried footsteps running towards you. As you peered down the street, you saw a dark figure and as it got closer you realised it was your dear friend, Erwin. His usual calm demeanour replaced by flushed cheeks and tear brimmed eyes.   
The next few days and nights were filled with uncertainty as you awaited the day of Mr Smith's return. But it was in vain. 

Mr Smith's funeral came and went, and you didn't see your best friend. Your mother and father demanded you leave the boy to his grief but you all knew that was not possible and each night, the young boy would find a basket full of pastries on his doorstep and each night your mother would ignore her lost stock. 

Eventually, your companion returned, but even your young brain could see that he had changed

And with age, so did you. By many, you were considered a spirited young girl, although you insisted on being called a woman now than you were 11 and "all grown up". But as you grew, the world around you only seemed to shrink and you yearned for something more. 

After the sudden 'death' of his father, Erwin had withheld his theories from the world all bar from you. Eager to catch up with your friend, you soaked up every word. You would spend hours sitting at the tree sharing ideas and speculations for the other to comment on. The theories became dreams, the pair of you fantasising what your lives would be like if you could freely explore the unknown wilderness behind the walls. Erwin being the studious child he was, would bring along the days newspaper, specifically searching for the movements of the Scout Regiment. The two of you idolised the soldiers; Erwin praised them for their sacrifices whilst you prayed for their brave souls. 

The last day you met at the tree was the day Erwin enlisted into the military. There was no surprise on your face. He was headstrong and brave. There was nowhere else he would suit better. The way he scrunched his nose at the MPs during your walks, meant he wasn't joining them. And though he respected the garrison, it was not quite his pace. Your heart dropped. Although you'd always known it, now that it was happening you realised you could lose your dearest friend. To the Scout Regiment. No. To the titans. 

Your eyes filled with tears, and the dam, you tried so hard to build, soon burst. The boy, anticipating your response, shuffled closer, placing his arm across your shoulder and pulling you into a hug. Your sobs filled the pregnant pause after his announcement. The two of you stayed in that position until the sunset and your sobs slowly died out. You let out a soft chuckle and wiped away your tears. 

"It must be a habit." You paused, allowing your words to settle in the silence. "It's like you love crying girls and trees." 

Erwin chuckled, beginning to reminisce about the day you met. You snuggled into him, and you let him talk just like you did when you first met, but this time you didn't offer any response. You focused on the sound of his voice, and the vibrations reverberating from his chest, his words being lost in the night sky. At this moment, you felt the only peace you would share for many years. 

"I'm going to join too." Your declared, your voice firm and committed. The older boy's eyes widened, and he looked down at you. You looked ahead, your brow furrowed in determination. "I want to be there. I want you to be with you when the Scouts kill the last titan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> This is my first ever fanfic! Although I've written one-shots for my Tumblr @ofbooksandaesthetics (this is definitely not a shoutout), this is the first time I've committed to writing to a full fanfiction. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this prologue, and things will start to pick up as Y/N turns 15, meaning prime enlisting age. 
> 
> Please leave any feedback, good or bad!


	2. Chapter 1

Your fingers drummed languidly on the countertop as you read the book you had read thrice before. 

You occasionally pulled your attention away from the worn pages in favour of looking out the window. People went about their day, now and again, one of them dropping in to pick up their daily loaf or an occasional sweet treat for a loved one. Each one you would greet with the same smile and same greeting, and then politely bid them adieu. The rhythmic kneading of the dough acted as a beat to the sweet songs the birds sang, and the busy hum of the outside world. 

Most of your days had looked like this after Erwin left. At thirteen, you surpassed the age of education, and instead the hours of the day were spent assisting your mother in the bakery that continued to flourish through the years. It was always expected that you would eventually take the reigns from your mother. After Mr Smith had died, another teacher followed in his footsteps but couldn't fill the hole in your heart and mind. Throughout your childhood, Erwin had allowed you to borrow his family's books but when he departed he entrusted the whole collection to you. Thirsting for knowledge, you digested them all thoroughly and enough times to eventually grow bored of them. 

But despite this, your week was always made more bearable by the arrival of the postman and the scrawled handwriting of your dearest friend. After three years, he was finally coming to the end of his training and preparing to enter the Scouts. His letters were filled with tales of the cadets. His days of tireless training, and the exhilaration of the ODM gear. He mentioned the other cadets he had befriended, the names Nile and Miche cropping up more than once. You hoped that one day you'd get to meet them both and maybe join them on their bar nights, but you knew that wasn't likely to happen for a fair few years. The name Marie had started to crop up but as soon as you noticed the pattern, they seemed to disappear from the narrative; but you bookmarked the thought for later making a mental memo to inquire about her. Although reading his tales filled you with joy, it reminded you that your lives were strung so closely together but always torn apart by the years between you, as if to taunt your fellowship. 

You were pulled from your thoughts by the chime of the hanging doorbell, and you moved your attention to the door, preparing to let out your usual spiel. You lost interest as you realised it was your brother, back from his day of "working" - although you both knew he was blowing off his responsibilities. You relocated your gaze to your book, watching through your peripheral as he attempted to sneak by unnoticed. 

"MOM! Klaus is back!" You exclaimed, the boy in question turning at lightning speed, his face full of betrayal. 

"What the fuck?" He whined, coming over to shake you by the shoulders, but you only laughed. If you had to stay here and work, he should have to own up for his actions. Or lack thereof. Before you could voice your opinion, your mother appeared from behind the counter. 

"I hope I didn't hear that foul language from your mouth Klaus." Your mother warned, receiving a "no ma'am" in reply. You let out a small giggle but stifled it as your mother started to scold your brother.

Zoning out, your thoughts shifted back to the Scouts and your future. Your fifteenth birthday was only a few months away, and if you didn't enlist now you'd have to wait for another year. You were far away in your daydreams, as you carried out your usual closing tasks up until dinner. 

* * *

  
"The military starts enlisting soon." You announced, once the usual dinner time chatter had died down. 

You looked around the table, as your brother looked at you with a raised eyebrow. Your mother looked down at her plate, clenching her fork, whilst your father rested his elbows on the table looking at you with a cool unreadable expression that made you look down and fidget with your skirt. All of a sudden, the small frayed hole was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"Y/N. Are you still thinking about enlisting?" He asked, maintaining his deep gaze. All the attention was on you. 

You gulped, casting your sights between your mother and father. For years after Erwin left, the topic of enlisting had been a topic of contention between you all. And for a good reason. Just like you had known that Erwin had enlisted, your parents also knew what your intentions were. You all knew what your answer was, and you looked back at your father, giving him a firm nod. There was no benefit to lying. 

Both of your parents sighed. Klaus looked down at his meal, already knowing that you'd started an awkward conversation that he would now have to sit through. 

"You sit reading and work in a bakery, for heaven sake! The military wouldn't even want you." your mother snarled, her face red with exasperation. 

"But they'll train me. It's not like Erwin was much better, he-" 

"Yes, but Erwin has more about him. He's not as sensitive as you are. The military suits him." She tried to reason, but this only made you more determined. Suddenly you pushed your chair back and leapt up, looking your mother in the eyes and surprising the whole table. 

"All the more reason to enlist! Okay, I might cry a bit, but why's that a bad thing. I care! The military's filled with enough people willing to sacrifice everyone but themselves! I want the people to one day walk free from these walls and no longer fear the titans. I care cause I want people to see there's more to life than being trapped like damn cattle." You let out, your voice becoming but a whimper towards the end. Silence filled the room. 

Everyone avoided your gaze and sensing your defeat, you slowly pulled your chair back in, trying to hide your tears. You all remained in silence and unmoving until a cough echoed through the tension. 

"If that's how you feel, then I guess we can't stop you." 

The room froze at that (if it was even capable of doing so at this point). Attention quickly moved to your father, who gave you another levelled stare. His words sent sparks through your chest, but all you could do was finally let your tears free, proving your mother's previous point. You again pushed back your chair, but this time all but throwing yourself onto your father, wrapping your arms around his neck. You heard your mother let out a cry of despair, which you would one day mirror, but for now, your thoughts were on your father's sudden acceptance. 

* * *

  
After two more months of waiting, the day finally arrived. 

You and your father made your way into the town centre, for your brother was off flirting with young women, and your mother was still too distraught to bear joining you. The two of you walked leisurely, passing small conversation and gossip about the shops and their keeps, eventually drowning in silence at the sight of the soldiers in the square. Tables sat all around, and many other young teens were waiting for their turn to sign their name. You stared at the one nearest to you, and you felt your father squeeze your hand. Leaning down, he pressed a brief kiss to your forehead and whispered into your ear. 

"You've already leapt, now you've just got to take the plunge." 

You stood tall at this, the anxiety still set deeply in your eyes, and let out the breath you didn't know you were holding. Looking down at your soft hands in his calloused ones, rough from working in the warehouses, you squeezed back. With this small gesture, you gained back the confidence you had become known for. You walked with purpose and joined the queue, which quickly seemed to die down. When you got to the desk, you inspected the man. You noticed the bags under his eyes and the rose sewn onto his sleeve, the Garrison. You politely greeted him, but your formalities were ignored and instead, the interrogation began. 

Name? Y/N Heim.

Age? 15.

The questions continued, asking about your place of residence, next of kin and so on. You soon fell into the monotonous beck and call routine until the man ended the questioning. 

"We'll be back in exactly a month. You should be packed with just a single bag and be here promptly for 7 AM." 

And with that, you had signed your life away. Away to the military. To the king. To Erwin and the titans. To freedom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is another background chapter. I wanted to develop Y/N a bit more before she joins the military and starts meeting the characters. 
> 
> The next chapter will include the lovely training corps and introduce some well-loved characters! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments! I really appreciate your support :)


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